Why We Hold on to Negativity

And 4 tricks to let it go

I am furious.

At my dog. Who ran away. Again.

Actually, if I’m being truthful, he sauntered.

Photo Courtesy: Gratisography

Photo Courtesy: Gratisography

 

Regardless – this is not about the speed of my dog’s movement, but rather the speed of my movement.

As I stood in my kitchen seething with a quiet rage (at being duped, at having to take the time to go find him, and having ever-more stuff on my plate), I realized this was one of those times where I could choose to walk my talk (as an Energy Mastery Coach), or I could inadvertently let my emotions take charge of me.

I knew which I wanted, and my question soon became how quickly can I release this anger?

Because isn’t that the trick to all of this “feeling better” stuff?

We’re going to get triggered. Of course we are. We’re human.

So the real issue is how quickly we can move on.

It’s not just about forgiving (that is part of it) or forgetting (that is part of it, too). It’s about our ability to let go of the tight energy, instead of holding it inside.

And to take that a step closer to the truth, it’s about our willingness to let go of the tight energy, instead of holding onto it.

Why We Hold on to Negative Energy

Why on earth would we hold onto that awful seething, you ask?

Because in some twisted way it feels good.

You know the “tight energy” I’m talking about. Annoyance, frustration, anger, fury. That sense of wanting to lash out, scream, punch, kick, do something! And if you step into it for a moment, you will feel how it’s fueled with intensity and fed by adrenaline.

It is powerful.

And it makes us feel powerful.

At least, that’s how it works at first. But if we allow it to linger, one of two things happens.

  1. We act on it. We actually kick something – whether physically, verbally, or energetically. It doesn’t matter, really – they all add up to the same thing. They allow us to release an assault on someone/something else, because we are desperate to let that feeling out. Often we don’t even realize we’re doing it, until it’s too late.
  2. We stuff it down. We know it’s not appropriate to do any of the above, so we swallow those feelings. The thing is, they don’t go away – rather, they fester. They eat away at us and we begin (or continue) to feel powerless. We may over-drink, over-eat, over-tv, over-text, over-Facebook, all to numb the horrible discomfort we’re feeling.

Either way, the outcome is toxic. It’s toxic on our relationships and actions, or toxic on our own bodies. Or all of the above.

That’s the laws of energy at work, right there. Immutable laws. We might not be tuned in enough to notice the effect, or call it by name, but it’s happening nonetheless. And it’s a big part of why people don’t feel great. It starts with this inner stuff.

So yeah, that’s what happens.

Every. Single. Time.

Unless…

Unless we deliberately choose to release it, that toxic energy.

How do we do that?

Shifting Energy of Small Things

If it’s a small thing – as was the case of my runaway dog and the booty of decaying stuff he found in the woods – it’s often enough just to decide that you’re going to let it go.

For me, it went like this. “Oh good lord, do I really want this to take up so much space inside of me? Of course not.” So I dialed furious back to annoyed back to put out back to he’s just doing his job, following his instinct back to guess it’s time to do more training with him back to and won’t that be nice when this is no longer an issue.

I will also admit to taking a time out from said puppy. Time outs always help. They allow the adrenaline to subdue, which gives us the space to think more clearly, and to make decisions from a more centered place. We all know this to be true.

And then I started writing, which I know to be a powerful way moving energy. You might choose to take a walk, vacuum the house, do a workout, go spend some time in nature. All of these will shift your energy, and all of them fill you back up (okay, maybe not the vacuuming).

Shifting Energy of Big Things

This one, obviously, can be a bit tougher. The concepts are all the same as they were with the Small Things. They involve:

  1. Choosing new thoughts and interpretations of the situation
  2. Taking time away from the situation
  3. Taking care of yourself (filling your Well)
  4. Moving your body and being in a peaceful, rejuvenating space

I’ll be honest and say it takes some real work to do this with a trigger/situation that comes up again and again (e.g. someone at work, someone at home, an old habit or pattern).

This is where people often to come to coaching – because it’s so tough to shift a Big Thing alone.

In my own life, I’ve realized there are things I simply can’t change without the support of a trusted guide.

I picture it like this. As a human (which I am), I am at ground-level, looking at my life from a ground-level perspective. When I am coaching, I become an eagle, able to see a much bigger picture – in peace, without judgement, and without the confusion of attachment.

And so, when it comes to my own human “stuff,” I need someone else to be the eagle for me.

Thankfully, as far as the Little Things go, I can typically talk myself off the ledge pretty quickly on my own, without much collateral damage occurring in the meantime. And I hope that after reading this, you are able to do the same.

As for the Big Things – if you find yourself spinning your wheels, unable to get out of a rut of any of those forms of toxicity, I urge you to consider hiring yourself a great coach. I know it’s an investment, but I can almost guarantee it will be the best possible use of your money and time.

Why? Because imagine no toxicity. Imagine vibrancy.

Yeah, it’s definitely been worth it for me.

Julianna Ricci is an accredited Energy Mastery Coach. She helps intuitives, coaches and practitioners accelerate their businesses – by upleveling their inner landscape – so that they can double their practice and serve all of their people. She specializes in taking clients behind their stories and into a new version of themselves. Contact: [email protected] to book a workshop, sign up for her upcoming Energy Mastery E-Course, or to schedule your VIP coaching.

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