I am the last person to say that loss is easy.
A year ago I lost my childhood best friend to cancer. She was 39 when she was diagnosed. Two angelic, young children and a (thankfully) wonderful husband. A beautiful life on Cape Cod. Within five months she was gone. Just like that.
To say she was my best friend is…simplistic. The vast majority of my childhood memories stem from our time together – attached at the hip from 5-18. We vacationed together. Her mom once washed my mouth out with soap when I swore; my mom taught her some of the details of “becoming a woman.” She was a sister.
And then she was gone.
So I get it.
But, deep breath, what I also get — and what carried me through my sadness — is that she is fine. We all are fine.
Her Soul has returned home, and I don’t mean that in a simplistic way. I mean her soul has returned home.
Who we are is soul.
That brilliant, loving, compassionate presence visits this earth for a time — in a body — to expand its understanding, to become even more compassionate.
It gathers experiences.
There is no judgement, no right and wrong.
There is simply growth. Beautiful, powerful growth.
And then that brilliant presences returns from whence it came.
To that place where, once again, there is no judgement. There is no right and wrong. There is only expansion.
So I’ve come to understand that we grieve for ourselves. We grieve for the loss in our lives, for the emptiness we feel.
And that is fine, too.
But what I know for certain is that those souls — those whom we have loved and lost — remain with us, here and now.
They are with us in how they unknowingly shaped us, in all the ways they graced our own earthly experience.
They are with us, looking back from the Other Side, knowing that this is how we wrote it, together, before we both came through at birth.
They are with us, knowing that this is part of our soul’s expansion: neither good nor bad, just beautiful, powerful growth.
They are with us, blessing us. Loving us in a way they were not even able to do while on earth — loving us more than we can ever imagine.
And they are with us, reminding us that things are exactly as our Souls wanted them to be.
So while I miss my dearest old friend, my sister, I also know we all are fine.