I spent a number of days last week wrestling with some uncomfortable growing pains.
At first I was blaming these pains on things in my physical world…my puppy is once again acting up; my book is in the exciting, but intense final stages before publication; we’re renovating our kitchen; my husband is in Africa for a couple weeks; my kids are both sick; I did a power-travel to California for a 3-day event; it’s been cold and rainy instead of beautiful New England Autumn; the list goes on.
Yes, there’s a lot going on in my physical world. And yes, I am tired – mentally, physically, emotionally.
But eventually the root of it finally appeared to me:
I have been ignoring my non-physical world.
Hear me out.
I am not much of a meditator. Yes, I go into that place when I lead clients into guided visualizations – and it clears me right out and fills me right up.
But I don’t have a “real” meditation practice. I don’t deliberately sit in silence, or do any intentional, daily connecting.
And since I’ve been focusing on a new series of programs and retreats these past few months, I’ve cut back on my one-on-one clients. That translates to cutting back on those chances to go into sacred space.
Add to that the fact that I’ve also been “too busy” to read – and connect through – the deeply tapped-in books that I typically start my day with. This too translates to “no aligning with the highest truths of the Universe, no conscious-allowing of Source to flow through me.”
Instead, I’ve become ridiculously human.
What do I mean by this? I mean that I’ve been devoting my time and energy almost exclusively to the outer form of things – the physical world and relationships therein. I’ve been focusing on my business, my family and my friends.
Which, of course, is great – to focus on these things that I love so much.
But it’s not enough.
I have fallen out of balance.
And on the one hand, I know that this is okay. I’ve gotten really good at remembering my own wisdom that “if I were meant to be fully enlightened, I would have stayed in Spirit form.”
But on the other hand, I know that living with almost an exclusive focus on the physical world has hampered my peace, my joy, my manifestation powers, and my ability to teach and uplift.
This lesson has been popping up for me a lot in 2016. I know it is the journey of facing a new challenge (for me, it’s taking my business to the next level – for others it might be leaving a relationship, or coming to peace with their body), while remaining deeply grounded.
Life challenges are tough enough on their own. Facing them when we’re off-balance, when we’re not directly in touch with – and being supported by – our Higher Selves, makes them even tougher.
On the other hand, when we can find our grounding – our balance, our deepest powers – then we move through these challenges with grace and often-times ease.
I know all this.
And yet I still fall off the blasted horse.
So now it is time to pick myself up, dust myself off, and climb right back onto that horse; into the way of being that I know serves me – and the world – in the highest ways possible.
My intention with this awareness, and with this post, is to recommit to my inner practice. Here’s what it will look like for me:
- I intend to be the witness of where I currently am
- I intend to observe this place without judgement
- I intend to return to a daily practice of tapping in, through whatever form feels downstream and expansive to me (currently I am reading “The I AM Discourses” – this will be my practice)
If you are facing a challenge, I invite you to create a similar plan, a similar practice. Make sure it’s something that feels deeply good to you. If it helps to write it down, or find an accountability partner, do that too.
I teach my clients that the path of growth is similar to a trail spiraling up a mountain: we often get to a place where we look at the view and think “What? I’ve been here before! This again??”
I am, of course, finding myself at such a juncture.
Thankfully I’ve been reminding myself of the second part of the spiral-trail story: if we pay attention, we see that while we are overlooking the same view (situation, challenge, trigger), we are invariably seeing it from a higher elevation.
We are always growing. We might revisit a lesson, but always, always, we are different each time we encounter it.
The human journey up that spiral mountain path is not easy.
It is the discomfort of being human.
But when we choose look at it from the right angle – when we realize we’re at a higher elevation each time around – we can celebrate it as the growth that it unquestionably is.