Vulnerable stuff ahead…
I had an “ah-ha!” moment with my coach last week (yes, even I have a coach…and I’m way better for it!) that my definition of SUCCESS didn’t add up to my definition of success. It sounds convoluted, and it is, which is perhaps why I hadn’t even noticed it before.
Here’s what happened:
I have a business that I LOVE!
But…. I’m not yet serving as many people as I know I’m meant to serve. And I don’t yet have the income that I know I’m meant to have.
And I just now realized (yes, just now) that because of these things, I often feel more like a failure than a SUCCESS.
Which makes sense…but also TOTALLY doesn’t.
(Note: Keep reading until you get to the question at the end…because I’m curious about how others are doing with this, and also because it might end up being a powerful ah-ha for you as well…and I’m all about that.)
Why doesn’t it make sense? Because even though my business isn’t quite where I want it to be, my life IS where I want it to be, in SO many ways.
Take, for instance, that I make my own hours. And I am home for my kids when they get home from school (a priority for me right now). And I can take vacations with them. And my husband’s work is flexible, and we can all play together. In fact, we spent 3 weeks in Italy and Paris last summer. And I am not over-tired or over-stressed. I have time to workout 3x/week. I am healthy, strong, mostly-peace-filled, and very balanced.
Despite all of these major successes in my life (…the big ones!), many days I feel more like a failure than a success.
And to that I offer a giant WTF?!?!
See, what I realized is that while my IDEAL definition of success”was all about happiness, peace, etc…the ACTUAL one I was using on myself every day was based entirely on an externally-defined version of success.
And I didn’t even see I was doing it…
** So here’s my question: All those thoughts that go through your head, about how good (or not) you are…how aligned are they with your IDEAL definition of success? Or, at the end of the day, are you weighing your value against a different one, such as money, body, or your job?
I really am curious. I never would have though that I was out of alignment, until I gave it some real thought.
I’m still feeling pretty blown-out-of-the-water by it, as I reset some definitions and expectations for myself.
That said, it feels really, really good to be doing it – and I’m beyond grateful for getting to this “ah-ha” moment. It’s these types of shifts that launch us forward.