My Money Wasn’t Where My Mouth Was (or something like that)

Vulnerable stuff ahead…

I had an “ah-ha!” moment with my coach last week (yes, even I have a coach…and I’m way better for it!) that my definition of SUCCESS didn’t add up to my definition of success. It sounds convoluted, and it is, which is perhaps why I hadn’t even noticed it before.

Here’s what happened:

Photo – Courtesy Gratisography

Photo – Courtesy Gratisography

I have a business that I LOVE!

But…. I’m not yet serving as many people as I know I’m meant to serve. And I don’t yet have the income that I know I’m meant to have.

And I just now realized (yes, just now) that because of these things, I often feel more like a failure than a SUCCESS.

Which makes sense…but also TOTALLY doesn’t.

(Note: Keep reading until you get to the question at the end…because I’m curious about how others are doing with this, and also because it might end up being a powerful ah-ha for you as well…and I’m all about that.)

Why doesn’t it make sense? Because even though my business isn’t quite where I want it to be, my life IS where I want it to be, in SO many ways.

Take, for instance, that I make my own hours. And I am home for my kids when they get home from school (a priority for me right now). And I can take vacations with them. And my husband’s work is flexible, and we can all play together. In fact, we spent 3 weeks in Italy and Paris last summer. And I am not over-tired or over-stressed. I have time to workout 3x/week. I am healthy, strong, mostly-peace-filled, and very balanced.

Despite all of these major successes in my life (…the big ones!), many days I feel more like a failure than a success.

And to that I offer a giant WTF?!?!

See, what I realized is that while my IDEAL definition of success”was all about happiness, peace, etc…the ACTUAL one I was using on myself every day was based entirely on an externally-defined version of success.

And I didn’t even see I was doing it…

** So here’s my question: All those thoughts that go through your head, about how good (or not) you are…how aligned are they with your IDEAL definition of success? Or, at the end of the day, are you weighing your value against a different one, such as money, body, or your job?

I really am curious. I never would have though that I was out of alignment, until I gave it some real thought.

I’m still feeling pretty blown-out-of-the-water by it, as I reset some definitions and expectations for myself.

That said, it feels really, really good to be doing it – and I’m beyond grateful for getting to this “ah-ha” moment. It’s these types of shifts that launch us forward.

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4 thoughts on “My Money Wasn’t Where My Mouth Was (or something like that)

    • Thanks for this note, Prachi. It is difficult indeed – and I’ve noticed that the “better” we are at being students of “this is how it should be,” the more difficult it is to hear and follow our own inner knowing. It’s always a gift though, being reminded, and being on the path. Thanks for being on your own journey, and sharing some of it here! 🙂 – julianna

  1. Cool ah-ha, Julianna! I relate to a version of this — I noticed myself “bleeding over” some inadequacy I feel about an area or two in my life, that aren’t quite where I’d ideally like them to be, and allowing it to color how I feel about all the other areas that are in wonderful places!

    I’m adjusting “my story” about them — “I am just at a different stage of creating in those 1-2 areas. I am evolving them to more of what I would like them to be” : )

    And, as I evolve these, I’ll have even more ways that I can serve clients.

    I feel better already! ; )
    Thanks for sharing, J : ))

    • Bonnie – Thanks for this wonderful note. Yes, this is precisely what I was talking about in the post…and I’m so glad that you’re “adjusting” so that you are back into alignment (the same thing I myself am doing). It’s always powerful to keep ourselves as in-flow as we can be…so that everything we touch (including clients) get the absolute highest they can from us! Sending a hug – j.